aaaaaaaaaaand the winner is:
"We be canoodling" by jules@mooncarfarms. 'Canoodling' is one of my favorite words and it is far underused, so for that you are rewarded with thread snips and quilting gloves!
but good news for Lisa, because she is the runner up with "failure to cytokinese." I thought this entry was really witty and it also appealed to the science nerd in me, so you will both get a prize! Lisa, you didn't leave your email address so I will try to hunt you down. Please email me if you see this!
I will try to email you both and get your information, but if you beat me to it you can go ahead and email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to give me you mailing address.
Thanks for playing, guys! There were some really funny entries and it was hard to pick a winner.